Crafty Dinner Ninja

Date: Wednesday, January 20
Venue: ?

Regular readers will have already noticed an unwanted ? in this blog
To explain the reason behind this I will have to take you back to this morning.
I should have known Dom was in a rebellious mood when he came in listening to The Who on his iPod.
A couple of hours later I was innocently walking back into the office after getting my lunch when I was shocked to see Dom running out of the room with a mouthful of food in his mouth and a fistful of food in his left hand.
He then came back to the room and actually managed to eat what was left of his crushed food from his clenched left fist - it looked like a sandwich.
After speaking to several eye witnesses I concluded that he had cunningly waited for me to leave the office before running out of the office and purchasing some food without anyone seeing.
When I blamed his useless co-workers for not making a note of what he ate he replied:

"Don't blame them, I'm a crafty dinner ninja."

That's the beautiful thing about this blog.
The more he tries to destroy it the stronger it becomes.
Almost like the scene from Fantasia when Mickey Mouse is dressed as a sourcerer and he is chopping up brooms. He thinks he wins but then the brooms come back smaller but in force with consequently devastating effects.

One of Dom's 'brooms' today included saying he doesn't like proper cuts of meat, just the processed 'arseholes and eyeballs'.

Anyway, as any good film villain will tell you, it now, unfortunately, falls to me to teach Dom a harsh (but fair) lesson for stepping out of line.

Whenever he breaks the rules I get to reveal one story (food related or otherwise) from my archive entitled 'Mortifying things Dom has done'.

Today's was submitted.

Years ago Dom came out of a pub in Newport too late, just as the takeaways were closing.
He managed to find his way to a local Indian only to be greeted with a closed sign.
Instead of going home quietly he insisted on banging on the door while shouting..

"Come on! Let me in! Big Money! Big Money!"

They can and will get a lot worse.