Big Shirley Valentine

I still can’t understand why Dom always comes across as the victim to people who read this blog.
It’s always how does Dom feel about you writing about what he eats?
No one ever spares a thought about what it’s like for me having to work with Dom.

He puts his finger in my ear when he walks past my desk, he once spent the day inputting letters to the bass line of She Bangs the Drums, he constantly tries out his new martial arts moves out on me and my ribs and he’s ruined breathing, blinking, tongue resting and pickled onion crisps for me.

They are just some of the moans blog readers will already know about but things like this happen all the time.

Take today for example.
The office alarm was going off for 10 minutes without any explanation.
It was annoying everyone so Dom tried to ease the situation by making his own high pitched noise in time with the actual alarm.

I could hear it over the music on my headphones – it was ridiculous – and that wasn’t even the worst thing he’s done today.

No word of a lie, just before eight this morning I was innocently accessing the office fridge when Dom jumped up on me with Exhibit A screaming ‘”Get out of my way!”



Worryingly the only non factual bit about the above statement and picture is that it was more than likely after eight.


Dom had a Subway for lunch, he returned with a sub a drink and a magazine.
The magazine taught him that Ronan Keating’s hit ‘Baby Can I Hold You?’ is actually a cover of a Tracy Chapman song.
Dom sang a bit of the song like Tracy Chapman – I thought it sounded like Dom’s Morrissey impression. This led to a conversation about female singers who sound like men.

Dom said he was never sure about Tracy Chapman, Dave said he was confused by Nina Simone.

Ian still hadn’t researched his so cleverly went with the below way of joining the conversation.

“Terence Trent D’Arby is another one,” Ian said.

“He’s another what?” Dom said.

“Oh he’s a he,” Ian said.

(EDIT – I was this far into the blog when Dom walked past and tried another move out – it almost ended in disaster when Dom started feeling his trousers pulling.
“That would have been embarrassing,” Dom said. “I wouldn’t have wanted to split my trousers while miming a Muay Thai move on Jamie.”)

That isn’t even my favourite Ian quote.
The best was when he enlightened us with the phrase “Did you know Big Daddy’s real name was Shirley Valentine?”

Sorry Ian.