A false alarm sneeze

Dom just had a ‘false alarm’ sneeze.
He did a proper sneeze, paused and then looked like he was going sneeze but sort of sneezed with approximately 12 per cent the force of a normal sneeze.

“Oh, that was a false alarm sneeze,” he said.
A few seconds later he added: “I don’t feel quite right.”

He did a proper sneeze a couple of seconds later.

“That clearly came as quite a surprise,” he said when he left for the toilet to wash himself down.

Been to the pub today, Dom went for a beef gourmet burger which he enjoyed.
It was quite a nice lunch but he did have a go at me once because I kept suggesting film ideas.

He quite liked the one I’m going to submit to Pixar called Hippo-chondriac about a hippo who somehow ends up saving the day by conquering his fear of water.
Unfortunately, he equally hates my idea of Santa Jaws which tells the story of a shark who has to take on the role of Father Christmas with hilarious consequences. after accidentally biting up when his sledge crashes in the Pacific on Christmas Eve.

I said he should support my creativity because I would buy him things if I was rich, like a three-course meal with Morrissey.

Dom said he wouldn’t want that in case Morrissey was rude to him.

I said I’d make sure he wasn’t rude by threatening his loved ones before.

“He hasn’t got loved ones,” Dom said.
“That’s why he’s Morrissey.
“He’s a spinster in the body of a 50-year-old man.”